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Happiness is in everyones DNA

May 5, 2011

How pleased you would be if I say everyone can be happy. All of us someway or other, in different shape, fashion or form devote entire life to achieve happiness. Job, relationship, family children , everything we do is a quest for happiness.

If we ask, what I have to get in order to be happy ? Individual will come up with answers like wealth, spouse, children, traveling, fame, etc … We will get a good list of what we need to be happy. But this is a fact that whatever you get can be un-get. Then were will this make you stand ?

If I say, actually there is nothing you have to get or do to be happy. Happiness is a part of your nature, it is in your DNA. Question will arise, if it is in a DNA then how everyone is not happy ? The simple answer is we spent entire life learning to be unhappy. The way to be unhappy is buying a mental model. Everything in this world works according to some mental model, like, Which movie is good ? Where a good chinese food served ? What book should I read at this hour ? Similarly we buy a mental model in which we should get something so that we can do something to be something .. its a “If Then Model” .. If this happens then I will be happy. Only difference within us is this “If” each one is focusing on. Also the difference within you now and you 10 years back is about this “If”. Many of us achieved this “If” what we thought 10 years back (like graduation, employment, marriage), but where do we stand right now ? Are we happy ? May be not because the current “If” is different. The model itself is flawed. We spend enormous time changing the “If” instead of not buying this flawed “If then” mental model.

It can be demonstrated, assume you are out enjoying the nature. Suddenly if you saw a rainbow or a gorgeous valley, you admire the beauty and feel happy. Somehow at that instant you accept the universe exactly as it was. Assume if you think, the rainbow would be much better if it was 10 meters on right. But you do not and you still remember that happy moment for rest of our life. How if the situation we have is equally perfect as a rainbow. But we do not accept it as it is, and strive to make it different and then we try to fit into the “If then” mental model.

How can I step out of this model ?
I want to do this, I want to get this, I want to reach there .. all these are outcome, what you want to achieve.
We overlook the fact that actions is in our control at least in logic sense, but outcomes are out of our controls. Sometimes you do perfectly what is expected but output is exactly opposite .. e.g. I wish to make my wife happy with some nice surprise. What I do is buy a awesome dress and when I reach home with a big smile on my face, I present her the dress. She opens with excitement but reacts exactly opposite to what I expected. I bought her a size 2 dress and she reacts saying, “When was the last time you got me a dress, I am size 6 now.”

We live in a world were we think more about outcome… where I am , where I want to go and this is what I want to do .. what if I do not succeed .. We invest a lot in the outcome and get frustrated if the outcome is not what we expected. To be happy and successful,  do not invest in a outcome but invest in a process.
John Wodeen the first person to be named in “Basketball Hall of Fame” as a player and a coach. One of the most successful coach in college Basketball, had a unique way of coaching. He reveals the secret behind his success. He never spoke about winning. When the game is over he talks to players, “Look in a mirror and ask yourself, did I do the best I’m capable of? If you did then score doesn’t matter. But I’m confident, if you do what your capable of then the score will be in your liking.” This is investing in a process, but we do the opposite, we invest in a outcome.

It is good to think about outcome, it gives a direction. Focus on the outcome to get a direction but invest totally in the process. If you succeed wonderful but if you do not still wonderful. You get a new starting point and from that starting point select another outcome and work on process . Everyday will be a unique, exciting and you will have a blast, if you invest in the process and not spend all of emotional energy in the outcome. Remember, outcome is out of your control.

Many times, I hear someone saying that my life is routine, nothing is exciting, don’t feel passionate enough to do anything.  Curse about the job, the boss, the colleagues. Someone said, “Passion exist inside you and not in what you are doing”. If you do not find a way to ignite this passion within yourself right where you are then you will never be able to even outside. External world is just a reflection of your inner self. It adjust and rearrange itself as per you attitude.

This very life is nothing but a Journey. Now you have to decide your destination (place where you want to be) and select a path of this Journey. You begin your journey focusing and spending energy in the process and not in the outcome.

I consider myself a fortunate one as my Spiritual Mentor have blessed me. HE have made me understand where I am right now (my current state) and where I need to reach (my destination). But most important, HE has shown me the path to reach this destination, path to become a true Human Being. I hope I can follow this path and implement HIS teachings in my day to day life.

Thank You !!!

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8 secrets of success

May 4, 2011

Richard St. John’s 8 secrets of success:

  1. Passion: Do it what you love and money will come anyway
  2. Hard Work: Its all hard work, nothing comes easily
  3. Good: Be damn good at what you are doing. Key to it is Practice – Practice – Practic
  4. Focus: Focusing yourself on one thing at a time
  5. Push: Push yourself, physically mentally push push push. Push through shyness and self doubt.
  6. Serve: You can’t serve yourself unless you learn to serve others something of value. That’s how people really get rich.
  7. Ideas: Listen, observe, be curious, ask questions, problem solving, make connections.
  8. Persists: Persist through failure, CRAP – criticism(C), rejection(R), assholes(A), pressure(P)
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Jan Lokpal All Good but What’s my responsibility?

April 9, 2011

Cricket World Cup 2011 glued entire nation together and within couple of days same passion was exhibited in support of Jan Lokpal Bill. Mr. Anna Hazare Ji, a Gandhian, passionately and patriotically working hard as he always does, to enforce the Jan Lokpal Bill. The indefinite Fasting did bend the Government, who agreed to issue a formal order to set up a joint committee for drafting an effective Lokpal Bill.

This entire campaign “India Against Corruption” compared by some as equivalent to fight for Independence, is upheld and supported not only in India but by all Indian across the globe. Entire social network, media, print media, Bollywood  and even streets across cities are over flowing with campaign and messages in support of “India Against Corruption” movement, more specifically advertising the Jan Lokpal Bill and support to indefinite Anna Ji’s fast.

I feel proud to be Indian, as all came together for need of change. Everyone fighting to eradicate the corruption which is like a “The Termite Effect”, slowly but surely damaging the system. May be many of us don’t know the details about Jan Lokpal Bill, but still providing support in any possible form to get this Bill in the parliament. They know this is something about controlling the corruption and encouraging the development of India.

But all this raises a question in my mind, will this completely solve the corruption problem ? May be not, but it may help in controlling the corruption at higher level which usually involves big mula. But what about corruption at ground level ? If I consciously see around, first and foremost, I feel myself guilty of promoting the corruption. Unless I am 100% sure about not being corrupt (giving or taking bribe), I do not hold any right to talk or fight against corruption at any level.

How am I corrupt?

1. Shopping, buying stuffs, refueling Gas/Petrol/Diesel without demanding for valid sales receipt.

2. Breaking traffic rules or committing crime and escaping by paying money less than the actual fine, again without receipt.

3. Get work done at any office (private or govt. office) by influence of some reference, power or by bribe. Best example is getting the marriage certificate 🙂

4. Buying tickets for a movie or cricket game by paying more than the face value.

These are few basic things I am involved in and there are many more such things. I need to first stop being corrupt and then expect others to follow me. Unless I stop being one of the termite or stop feeding the termites, “The Termite Effect” can never be stopped.

I am worse than those, whom everyone target as the most corrupt ones. I am corrupt for my selfishness, at least they are forced to be corrupt (by system or situation). People like me are highly over paid causing the total imbalance in the economy. I can’t imagine getting paid Rs.6000/month and sustain in current economy. The sky high real estate prices, out of proportion school fees, always increasing fuel prices, poor public transportation, Rs. 60/Kg Onions, etc … forces them to be corrupt. But what forces me to be corrupt ? System is responsible for their corruption, but who is responsible for me being corrupt ?

I can guarantee, if everyone ask these questions to themselves, the inner self of 90% of us will echo, “Yes, I am corrupt” too. If your self echoed the same, lets do self realization. First stop being corrupt and then gain a right to support  “India Against Corruption”.

Thanks !!!!

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Hard to sink-in the reality

April 5, 2011

Day – Saturday, April.2nd 2011

Time – Around 10:45 pm IST

INDIA – CRICKET ODI WORLD CHAMPIONS

Yes, it is hard to sink-in the reality of “INDIA-THE CHAMPION”, not because there was a single bit of doubt of achieving this glory but it was the fear of being denied of this success for some unknown reasons. As predicted, the best and the deserving team awarded “THE CHAMP” tag and each Indian fan may be finding difficult to express how proud he/she is feeling to witness this great achievement.

I do not want to praise the great Indian team and also not criticize other teams or for that matter any thing during this journey of World Cup. I believe talking about if’s and but’s should happen before the event occur and not as part to criticize the event after it already happened.

Just thought to scribe this and preserve this as a long lasting wonderful memory. Any time I read this article should help to refresh the memories of this great world cup. Should refresh the great moments like, “Yuvi’s roars hitting the boundary piercing the cover & mid-off to get over defending Champs Australia” or “Munaf’s legcutter to get rid of Razzaq in semi to get pass Pakistan, yet another time in WC” or “Captain cool’s heave over long-on boundary to raise the Golden Globe” or “Young mates lifting the little champ, who is lifting the billion Indian fans expectations since last 2 decades”. These great moments are not possible without the equally small moments like “Zaks beauty to get rid of Hussey” or “Bhaji’s drifter to puzzle Umar Akmal” or “Desperate effort of Kulasekara on boundary, failing to get rid of Gambhir”.

Posting the links to scorecard which reflects the gusty, passionate, determinant and professional display of cricket by Indian team to get pass the past World Champs, “Aussies”, “Pakis” & “Lankans”.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc_cricket_worldcup2011/engine/match/433601.html

http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc_cricket_worldcup2011/engine/match/433605.html

http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc_cricket_worldcup2011/engine/match/433606.html

This victory may not be as exciting as one in 1983 when no one expected India to raise the World Cup, but this is unique achievement in itself. Not just winning the World Cup, but enjoying the Golden time of Indian cricket gives more pleasure and happiness. Indian team, the No. 1 ranked Test Team, the World T20 champs (2007) and the ODI World Champ (2011), can’t be more Golden Time than this.

At the same time can’t restrict myself to think about the future of this team and I can see it as Golden as it is right now. Looking at the 15 members in the squad, can’t think of any other team who played all 15 members in single World Cup, not just for sake of giving the chance but bc their need was felt in that particular match. Other than Sreesanth, every one raised to the occasion and backed the decision of their Captain. Just a unknown link for the great future will be the new coaching and supporting staff. Wish Kirsten could continue with the team, but even he can’t regret a single moment of that farewell party. Just hope the Indian thinking tank get a similar personality as Kirsten and his staff to keep this Indian team on highs for years to come.

Can’t wait to override memories of this WorldCup by events of WorldCup 2015, when yet again the Little Champ is taking a victory lap on shoulder of young guns.

CHAK DE INDIA

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Let the Countdown Begin

March 25, 2011

Watching the Thursday showdown @ Motera to send 4 time World Champs (3 consecutive times since 1999) on the Kangaroo ride was a treat for Indian fans. This show definitely will shut off the loud skeptics who never wants to accept that Indian team has everything (compared to other teams in this WC) to lift that Golden Globe held up by three Silver Columns. More than a criticism this is a fear of acceptance.

Agreed the wicket was slow spinning track and aussies without a decent spin attack was going to have a challenge to control strong Indian batting line up. If you see out of 5 wickets, only Tendulkar’s wicket was due to bowling effort rest all was, as Sidhu describes “Christmas gift in a nicely decorated box”. But don’t forget here we talking about bowling attack with highly praised quick bowlers. This match really displays not only the tremendous talent in deep Indian batting line up but mentally stronger than ever batting line up.

Buckle up your seat belt and get ready for another amazing ride @ Mohali when India will take on none other than its biggest rival Pakistan. A battle between talented Indian batting v/s strong Pakistan bowling attack, a battle between out of form Pakistan batting v/s decent Indian bowling attack, a battle of mental toughness and passion for nation’s glory. Can’t expect any bigger show than this as some describe it as a fantasy land.

Still many will doubt, but India is miles favorite to win this battle. Of course as mentioned in my previous article, ODI win is dependent on many other factors and not just talent of the team. But still I personally have no doubt India will cross the line as winner and have a feeling it will be a comfortable win. India will be playing first time a good caliber sub-continent team in this WC and if the wicket is good for batting I am expecting a huge treat from Shewag & Sachin again.

Can’t wait to predict another finalist which many will disagree, but I think it will be NewZealand, defeating England in semi’s.

Go India !!!!

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Is Winner of Final a Real Champion ?

February 28, 2011

Definitely, a cup winner is a real champion if you talking about UEFA Champions League but I doubt if you talking about Cricket ODI World Cup. Truly a champion can be decided only if two teams are competing under same playing conditions.

How often we hear comments like following as reasons to win or lose a game?

1. Bowling conditions were ideal in the morning when ball was swinging because of moisture. Our bowlers exploited the conditions well and took those early crucial wickets.

2. It was easy batting second. Pitch was playing much easier, no movement or spin to the bowlers and ball was coming nicely on bat.

3. Pitch slowed down in second half and it was difficult to “time” the bowl.

4. It was difficult to grip the ball for spinners due to the dew factor.

5. We lost one wicket and suddenly we were behind as per D/L rules.

Are we talking here about deciding a winner in a even contest? To top that, we deciding a world champion with a tournament in which 99% chances of no elimination of even a single decent team (no chance of upsets at all) over a period of one month. And later it will take only 7 days to decide a champion.

What is your opinion on following?

1. Was India really among top 3 teams in 1983 world cup?

2. Did Pakistan really deserve to win a 1992 world cup? NZ deliberately losing to Pakistan to play with weaker opponent (ironically weakest team to reach semi was Pakistan) in Semi-Finals. South Africa losing to England, a miracle (can possible only in cricket) happened and target of 22 runs in 13 balls changes to 21 runs in 1 ball.

3. How ball suddenly started turning almost a feet during 1996 world cup semi finals between India v/s SriLanka?

4. Was Australia real champion in world cup 1999 ? A semi-final is a tie, but one team progress to the finale on the basis of net run rate.

5. South Africa eliminated before Super Six stage of world cup 2003, because they scored runs just one short to win (not a actual target) as rain interrupted the game as expected.

6. Kenya reaching Semi-Finals of world cup 2003, because few teams had a luxury to avoid playing games because of unsafe venue.

7. Two teams who have always been title contenders in previous 6 world cups were eliminated in the first round of world cup 2007.

How can a certain teams are good in sub-continent and equally bad in other playing conditions & vice-versa? The only answer I can think about, winning in ODI cricket game is beyond the talent and skill level. May be not 50% but certainly 20% contribution in winning a game is from external factors which are beyond control of playing teams.

So don’t jump to criticize a team after a loss or start debating on who is real champion? I believe a real champion needs a very good team (talent & skill), mental strength and luck (which will take care of external factors). As of today, I can confidently say that there are at least 4 teams who cannot be separated as a real champion but will also not be surprised if 5th team is crowned as a Champion.

Guys, so just enjoy this crazy game, have real fun and support your team. At the same time don’t get disappointed if your team do not make to the final. Your team will still be a Champion in spite of not winning World Cup. This can happen only in the game of cricket (ODI).

Go India !!!

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Peace or Pride ?

January 25, 2011

On the eve of 62nd Republican Day, most of the Indians are stamping there pride of being Indian, not through praising the beautiful things this country has given but talking about right to hoist a National Flag. One of the hottest topic in the news, over social networks and many more communication media is about hoisting a National Flag at Lal Chowk in Srinagar, Kashmir. People siting in their a/c cabins/offices, utilizing the resources of the employer, some taking extra time out from busy schedule to protest against the decision of J&K Chief Minister to not hoisting a National Flag at Lal Chowk. Facebook, twitter, foward emails and many more sources are utilize for this protest. There are political parties involved in big movements and pressing hard to hoist the National Flag.

Well, I can certainly understand and not against what these political parties are doing. They as a politician always have motive behind each and everything they do. Similar thoughts and motives are behind this too, which really do not have place for feelings and sentiments of common population who will be affected. Similar thing happened a month back in Pune, controversy on Statue at Lal Mahal. Nobody ever cared for so many years what was there inside Lal Mahal and whoes and why the statue was there ? But suddenly everybody became sentimental about it and everyone started caring about Maratha History. Again as I said, no blame to politicians for what they are doing, because they are clear about what and why they are doing.

However, I feel pity about common citizen like me, who can show the pride being Maratha or being Indian, only through talking and supporting such kind of activities. We says, this is bullshit, we even have to think before hoisting a flag of our country in our own country? This is our pride and a right to hoist a flag. Come on, pride in supporting to things which will create controversies, pride in talking about it, and pride in taunting etc… Where is our pride when it comes to helping your needy country man, where is our pride when it comes to keeping country clean, where is our pride when it comes to breaking the rules & regulations, where is our pride when it comes to being a part of corruption.A board displaying “Happy Independence Day” on 26th Jan, this is our pride. Do we really know what we are doing ?

Human nature cannot help it, we can only point out as much negative things as you can and neglect the positives. How many of us know about the commandment by Nehru about flag hoisting exception in J&K, how many of us know about the daily situation of common man in J&K, how many of us know the opinion of common man in J&K and how many of us can predict the consequences of this act. Why should I even bother to know, because it is not me who will be suffering if something happens in J&K. I am sitting here in my a/c office and if something happens, I will access facebook twice as I am right now to comment about this event, showing how proud I am about being Indian. Spend little time reading articles expressing the opinion of common man in J&K and then we will understand what exactly they want.

They talk about a rally started from Kolkatta, a efforts of creating Unity among Indian. Is unity means coming together and protesting against something? Is unity means coming together and criticizing? Is unity means creating a plot for riots ? I wish they can understand what exactly unity means … “Unity is not becoming one, but it is understanding and respecting the differences”

I wish everyone a very happy and peaceful “Republic Day”. Jai Hind !!!