Happiness is in everyones DNA

May 5, 2011

How pleased you would be if I say everyone can be happy. All of us someway or other, in different shape, fashion or form devote entire life to achieve happiness. Job, relationship, family children , everything we do is a quest for happiness.

If we ask, what I have to get in order to be happy ? Individual will come up with answers like wealth, spouse, children, traveling, fame, etc … We will get a good list of what we need to be happy. But this is a fact that whatever you get can be un-get. Then were will this make you stand ?

If I say, actually there is nothing you have to get or do to be happy. Happiness is a part of your nature, it is in your DNA. Question will arise, if it is in a DNA then how everyone is not happy ? The simple answer is we spent entire life learning to be unhappy. The way to be unhappy is buying a mental model. Everything in this world works according to some mental model, like, Which movie is good ? Where a good chinese food served ? What book should I read at this hour ? Similarly we buy a mental model in which we should get something so that we can do something to be something .. its a “If Then Model” .. If this happens then I will be happy. Only difference within us is this “If” each one is focusing on. Also the difference within you now and you 10 years back is about this “If”. Many of us achieved this “If” what we thought 10 years back (like graduation, employment, marriage), but where do we stand right now ? Are we happy ? May be not because the current “If” is different. The model itself is flawed. We spend enormous time changing the “If” instead of not buying this flawed “If then” mental model.

It can be demonstrated, assume you are out enjoying the nature. Suddenly if you saw a rainbow or a gorgeous valley, you admire the beauty and feel happy. Somehow at that instant you accept the universe exactly as it was. Assume if you think, the rainbow would be much better if it was 10 meters on right. But you do not and you still remember that happy moment for rest of our life. How if the situation we have is equally perfect as a rainbow. But we do not accept it as it is, and strive to make it different and then we try to fit into the “If then” mental model.

How can I step out of this model ?
I want to do this, I want to get this, I want to reach there .. all these are outcome, what you want to achieve.
We overlook the fact that actions is in our control at least in logic sense, but outcomes are out of our controls. Sometimes you do perfectly what is expected but output is exactly opposite .. e.g. I wish to make my wife happy with some nice surprise. What I do is buy a awesome dress and when I reach home with a big smile on my face, I present her the dress. She opens with excitement but reacts exactly opposite to what I expected. I bought her a size 2 dress and she reacts saying, “When was the last time you got me a dress, I am size 6 now.”

We live in a world were we think more about outcome… where I am , where I want to go and this is what I want to do .. what if I do not succeed .. We invest a lot in the outcome and get frustrated if the outcome is not what we expected. To be happy and successful,  do not invest in a outcome but invest in a process.
John Wodeen the first person to be named in “Basketball Hall of Fame” as a player and a coach. One of the most successful coach in college Basketball, had a unique way of coaching. He reveals the secret behind his success. He never spoke about winning. When the game is over he talks to players, “Look in a mirror and ask yourself, did I do the best I’m capable of? If you did then score doesn’t matter. But I’m confident, if you do what your capable of then the score will be in your liking.” This is investing in a process, but we do the opposite, we invest in a outcome.

It is good to think about outcome, it gives a direction. Focus on the outcome to get a direction but invest totally in the process. If you succeed wonderful but if you do not still wonderful. You get a new starting point and from that starting point select another outcome and work on process . Everyday will be a unique, exciting and you will have a blast, if you invest in the process and not spend all of emotional energy in the outcome. Remember, outcome is out of your control.

Many times, I hear someone saying that my life is routine, nothing is exciting, don’t feel passionate enough to do anything.  Curse about the job, the boss, the colleagues. Someone said, “Passion exist inside you and not in what you are doing”. If you do not find a way to ignite this passion within yourself right where you are then you will never be able to even outside. External world is just a reflection of your inner self. It adjust and rearrange itself as per you attitude.

This very life is nothing but a Journey. Now you have to decide your destination (place where you want to be) and select a path of this Journey. You begin your journey focusing and spending energy in the process and not in the outcome.

I consider myself a fortunate one as my Spiritual Mentor have blessed me. HE have made me understand where I am right now (my current state) and where I need to reach (my destination). But most important, HE has shown me the path to reach this destination, path to become a true Human Being. I hope I can follow this path and implement HIS teachings in my day to day life.

Thank You !!!


One comment

  1. Shan nirankar Ji
    I don’t know why and whom I am asking this question but still its in mind and i just want to right it down to somebody i. This hope that might be i will get answer.from last few months I join nirankari mission with my few friend in Australia I like everything whatever they does and says . I saw so many times normally everyday baba Ji in my dreams. I still have a tears in my eyes just have a one question if he is come I v everyday to me why I m alone in my life why I m still struggling. He can see me he knows I does nothing wrong I.y life then why I have that much pain. Just why give me answer baba Ji don’t know what to do but I m your little child plzzzz give me answer.plz give me some peace so I can see this world peacefully …

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: